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How to Enjoy the Olympics Like American College Students
Thomas Ahonen
Updated Aug 11, 2016Save
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Now you’re on summer break… the fact that you’re reading a studenty blog while the sun is scorching and the music is blaring is a true testament to either your dedication or unpopularity.
Let’s fix this and have a little fun with Olympic fever. I thought I may as well add my two cents in on our Olympic-y themed week, but as the least competitive or sporty person on our team, I’m going to tell you how to enjoy it the only way I know how…
Partying like American college students.
Step 1: Dress the part
Organize an ‘Olympic’ party but remind your friends that you’re going to aim to capture the spirit of the Olympics and American college students in a loose interpretation involving competitions that are perfectly meaningless with outfits that do not promote range-of-movement but are designed to keep you cool.
Think this:
but combined with this
Keeping the interpretations of what you actually want between the boundaries of Tara Reid and someone who has actually achieved something will ensure that people will come with a range of outfits that will lend themselves to fun photos. Also, tell them there’s a prize for the best dressed, you don’t need to decide on a prize now, you can always make something up later (look, you won this roll of foil!!!).
Step 2: Don't make novelty snacks
Avoid the urge to make themed food that looks like this:
I know you may think being quirky is a good idea, but these Olympic torch popcorn cones are only good for your instagram feed and will not actually feed your guests.
Who only eats a half a handful of popcorn? Don’t answer that, you don’t want those people at your party so let’s not waste any time with the details.
Instead, order pizzas with toppings that may mimic the colors of the Olympic rings, you may top a pizza with spinach, pepperoni, pineapple, whatever, just get a bunch of fatty foods and claim you put thought into it, perhaps arrange them on a table with a bit of flair and put some plastic medals around them that you can give out later.
The point is, if you try to be cute with your food, you’ll just annoy people even though they’ll say to your face, “OH SO CUTE”.
Step 3: Create a drinking game
Create a drinking game (if you’re of legal drinking age in your respective country) and print off the rules (one copy is enough, you’ll be changing them anyway). Now this will vary from sport to sport, if you have a TV on, you can do something like ok, tennis, drink every time there’s a grunt, or assign a person to each player and when they score, they can tell someone else to drink or make a rule.
Imagine if you were watching the swimming trials, you could assign each person to a swimmer in a lane, then once the thing is over, arrange the winning-to-losing times in a waterfall formation.
The possibilities for your drinking game are endless.
Table tennis would be trickier as a drinking game, as are the long-haul games like the triathalons. You’ll need to pay attention to the players and see if they do anything entertaining or victory dances once they score. Victory dance? Drink!
Step 4: Lose the TV
Watching TV is boring so you’ll want to move away and focus on something interactive once your guests have lost interest. Make sure you have a setup for one of the following:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornhole
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_pong
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flip_cup
and designate teams or create a bracket for progression.
Name some winners, hand out some of the plastic medals, but for things more than just winning, so by the end of the day people look like they’ve won a medal for sitting down. Nothing is too excessive (these bags of plastic medals are like a dollar for a bag of 30, so go crazy and don’t be cheap… remember, you haven’t wasted your money on artistic food!).
Step 5: Killer soundtrack
Make sure your soundtrack is ridiculous. You should be listening to inspiring music like Don’t Stop Believing, anything that has to do with gold, time, etc is also welcome.
Step 6: Draw on the losers
Make sure you draw on the people who have lost any of the games with a marker.
And there you have it: the exact party American college students would throw. It’s the summer, you were looking for a new excuse to party anyway.